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Ultraman Leg Episode 6
A gust of blistering hot wind blew over the hilltop, and for the umpteenth time in the last hour Leg got a heaping mouthful of sand and salt. “For the love of King’s neck-beard, Master Eeznus!” he exclaimed in exasperation between fits of violent hacking and sputtering, “There are thousands of planets in this galaxy, and you just had to pick this salty hellscape!” “Oh come on Leggy m’boy, stop bein’ such a Negative Nancy!” reclining against a rock and casually picking fruits off a seductively moaning cactus, Eeznus didn’t seem to be bothered by the onslaught of salty sandstorms in the slightest, “Planet Lopata is one of the most scenic battleground choices round these here parts! Check out those rad salt flats! You don’t know where the sky ends and the land begins!” “I don’t give a Dinosaur Tank’s ass about no f*ckin’ scenery! I’M JUST SICK AND TIRED OF EATING SAND!!!” “Try keeping your mouth closed then.” Eeznus offered, narrowly dodging a cloud of sand that had been kicked up in his direction. “YOU WERE THE ONE WHO TOLD ME TO SIT STILL AND TAKE DEEP BREATHS, YOU OLD JACKASS!” “True.” Eeznus said matter-of-factly as he picked the last fruit off the violently blushing cactus and popped it into his mouth, “You really need to calm your nerves, my boy! You’ve been wound up all day!” “ARE YOU SH*TTING ME MASTER EEZNUS!? HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO CALM DOWN IN A PLACE LIKE THI-hhhmmhhmff” “Shush, my boy!” Eeznus commanded, plugging Leg’s mouth with a cactus fruit, “He is here.” An explosion of sand and rock blocked out the horizon, and Leg’s heart skipped a beat as his ears rang with the thundering bellows of Brebs’ engine. The hellmachine plowed through the wasteland, all three of its grotesque muzzles spitting tongues of brilliant white fire. Salt crystal formations, sand dunes, erotically inclined cacti – everything was razed to the ground under the wheels of the advancing motorcycle monster. “Brotein…” Leg whispered, struggling to process the sight before him. Holy crap, was this really happening!? Was he really about to have the battle of his dreams!? All that pain, all that effort…It was all about to become worth it, wasn’t it!? Brebs ramped off a sand dune and did a backflip and landed. Its rider disembarked soon after, cursing up a storm as he brushed sand and salt off his body. “Golly gee, would you look who’s here!” Eeznus screeched excitedly, somersaulting off the hilltop and landing onto a massive salt crystal jutting out of the ground. “BRING IT, EEZNUS!!!” Brotein screamed, momentarily springing into a battle stance. “Wowie, you sure are a hasty one!” Eeznus sniggered, “Why don’t we have a nice cup of tea first? Unfortunately, I forgot to bring my cookies, but these fresh Yaranaikactus berries are the next best thing! Want one?” he held up an entire basket full of cactus fruit. “I ain’t got no time for no f*ckin’ tea! FIGHT ME!!!” “Oh, come on pal! The world would be a much better place if everyone just sat down and had some tea together! Hey Leggy m’boy! Come down here and join us, don’t be shy!” “Leggy?! Who the hell is Leggy!?” Leg jumped off the hilltop and landed onto the ground next to Eeznus. “Hey there, Brotein!” “Oh. Eugh. What’s this Birdon Sh*tpile doing here? Did he hire you as a bodyguard to protect his weak ass?” “Oh come on, Brotein m’boy!” Eeznus gave Brotein a disapproving look, “Don’t say such mean things about my darling student!” “S-student!?” Brotein’s eye twitched, “You mean you’re training this dweeb!?” “That’s right, dearie. He’s my student. AND your opponent for today.” “Old man, what the f*ck is this sh*t?!” leaping into the air to grab Eeznus by the shoulders and pull him off the salt pillar, Brotein violently shook him around, “ARE YOU GONNA MAKE SOME LOSER FIGHT YOUR BATTLES FOR YOU!? I THOUGHT YOU WERE A LEGEND, DAMMIT! HOW DARE YOU DISAPPOINT ME, YOU WRINKLY F*CKBUCKET!!!” “Woah, woah, woah, cool it there buckaroo!” Eeznus stammered as his head lolled back and forth at a dizzying speed and Yaranaikactus berries scattered everywhere from his basket. “Master Eeznus your berries!” Leg exclaimed “Gimme that!” Brotein shamelessly robbed the poor senior citizen of his berry basket. “Hey! I was offering them to you peacefully just a minute ago! Buddy! Pal! Okay! Let’s look at this from a calm, logical perspective!” Eeznus continued, hardly fazed by being manhandled by Brotein, “If you can’t even defeat the student, what makes you think you’re worthy of fighting the master!?” “What!?” Brotein released his grip and let Eeznus drop onto his butt like a sack of potatoes, kicking up a small cloud of powdered salt. “It’s a test, dummy!” Eeznus’ grin pushed the elasticity of his face to the limit, “A test to find out if this feisty young grasshopper really has what it takes to become the strongest warrior in the universe! Well? You up to it or not?” Brotein looked like he was about to explode. “YOU. DRAGGED ME. ALL THE WAY TO THIS SALT-CRUSTED HELLHOLE. FOR SOME STUPID TEST!?” “Aw, come on buddy-o, no need to be so SALTY!” Eeznus wheezed before erupting into violent kakakaking. “Wait a second…” a sudden realization sent a stinging jolt of shock through Leg, “Master Eeznus…Don’t tell me…” It all made sense now. The real reason why Eeznus chose Planet Lopata as the battleground for his and Brotein’s rematch had nothing to do with the scenery at all… “Oh King…HHhhhh…That was my best one..My li….AHahjhhaMY Lifeis complete I can die noAHAHAHAHAAKAKAKAKAKAKA” Eeznus convulsed in the sand, tears streaming down his face as he pounded the ground with his fists.” “You brought us here…” Leg wanted to cry. Dear King and Noa and everything else that is holy, he wanted to cry so badly. “Just so you could MAKE A F*CKIN' PUN!?” “Oh come on Leggy m’boy!” Eeznus whined on the ground, “It was a good one!” “Eeznus. I’m going to kill you.” Brotein deadpanned. “Please do.” Leg pleaded. “Nuh-uh-uh!” Eeznus wagged his finger at Brotein, “Killing me’s not allowed until you’ve defeated my boy Leggy!” “F*CK YOU, OLD MAN!” “Come on, pal! Think about it!” Eeznus tried to reason with the fuming horned Ultra, “In the event that Leggy really is no match for you, at least you’ll be all warmed up by the time you’ve beaten him! I wouldn’t want you to pull something when fighting me, Brotein m’boy. That would be a really stupid way to lose, wouldn’t it?” “I AIN’T WASTING MY TIME ON NO GUTLESS WEAKLINGS!” Brotein fumed, angrily shoveling cactus berries into his mouth. Shing! A flash of electric blue whizzed through the air, and Brotein’s head jerked to the side, a shower of sparks and metal splinters spewing from one of his Dumbbell Headphones. “Oi Birdon sh*tpile, what the hell is this?” he sneered, bringing a hand up to thumb at the newly formed scuff mark, “Trying to sneak up on me? Are you really that desperate?” “You were too focused on yelling at Master Eeznus, so I had to shoot you to get your attention.” Leg nonchalantly blew a puff of smoke off the sole of his right foot. “Well, you got it alright.” Brotein turned to face Leg with a condescending smirk. “What are you gonna do now? Whine about your hurt fee-fees?” “Trust me Brotein, I’m just as done with this sh*t as you are. In fact, I’ve spent an entire year in a perpetual state of being done! So let’s just get to the point! Remember when you defeated me last year?” the steely look in Leg’s eyes did nothing to betray the emotional turmoil raging within him, “Back then I promised I’d train harder than you ever have if that’s what it takes to catch up to you. I’ve fulfilled that promise, Brotein! Now fight me!” Brotein stared blankly at him for a moment. Then he doubled over with laughter. “HOLY SH*T, THAT’S PRICELESS!” he howled, slapping himself on the knee. “Shut up and fight me, jerkface.” Leg grumbled impatiently. “Just what kind of fantasy world are you living in? It’s been ONE YEAR!” Brotein sighed, having finally managed to compose himself, “Your pampered ass knows f*ck all about hard work, but here you are bragging that you somehow managed to catch up to me in one lousy year!? GET REAL!” “Leggy’s right, ya know!” Eeznus chortled, soundlessly appearing behind Brotein and violently noogie-ing his head. Brotein spewed curses vile enough to corrode eardrums and attempted to throw Eeznus over his shoulder, only for him to casually teleport away, reappearing perched on the salt crystal with his reclaimed berry basket. “Stop saying such mean things about my darling disciple!” he continued, “He is a good, hardworking boy who has gone through hell and back this year just so he could get the chance to fight you again!” “Great, the old geezer is delusional too!” Brotein slapped his forehead with enough force to knock out a Zetton. “Ugh, I’m so sick of this sh*t! FINE! I’ll fight that dumbass student of yours, Eeznus! I’ll f*ck his sh*t up real good, and give both of you the reality check you so desperately need!” “Yay!” Eeznus did a somersault of joy. “Bring it on, Brotein!” Leg yelled, swiftly moving into a fighting stance. “I AIN’T GOT NO TIME FOR THIS BULLSH*T, LEGDWEEB!” Brotein growled, planting his feet firmly into the wasteland soil, his arms guarding high “I’M GOING TO TAKE YOU OUT IN ONE SHOT!” Leg shivered in anticipation. Here it comes here it comes here it comes! “ILLEUMINA BUSTER!!!” Brotein shouted, thrusting his fists forward. So this was the attack that had spelled his doom a year ago. Back then, he was so blinded by exhaustion and inexperience that the Illeumina Buster appeared to him as something incomprehensible in its might, a cosmic horror beyond logic and reason. But today’s Leg, his body and mind tempered by a year of hell, his senses heightened to the limits of their capabilities, stared down the approaching attack and couldn’t stop himself from grinning ear to ear. He could see it clearly now. Though to the untrained eye his body appeared static, frozen on the spot in a firm wide stance, his fists facing forward, Brotein was actually in constant motion, his torso bending and twisting back and forth, his weight shifting from one leg to another, throwing hundreds of punches per second, from all sides, from all angles, his blows blurring together into explosions of orange and crimson that swirled into a single blinding pillar of light. The Illeumina Buster. A beam made of fists. What a beautiful and strangely bittersweet attack it was! Brotein’s light…It felt as though he was wrenching it out of his very soul. Burning away a bit of himself with every blow. And for a second, the mesmerized Leg caught himself almost wanting to be hit by it. But alas, now was not the time to go jumping headfirst into enemy beams. Now was “showing Brotein he meant business” time. Leaping high into the air, Leg extended his legs in a split and spun them like the sails of a windmill, increasing his speed until all that could be seen was a vortex of blue. And, upon impacting its target, the Illeumina Buster quite anticlimatically fizzled out into a puff of smoke. Leg spun to a stop, looking mildly dizzy yet smug. Across the field of glimmering glass spikes forged from the sand by the heat of the failed attack, Brotein stared at his adversary in open-mouthed shock. “What…What the hell was that?!” “Cool, huh!?That was the antidote for your Illeumina Buster! Leg Quixote!” Leg declared proudly. ---- “MASTER EEZNUS! WHY THE HELL DID YOU SET THE FOREST ON FIRE!?” Leg shrieked in terror as the flames crept closer and closer to the uprooted tree stump currently occupied by the master-student duo.' “Wasn’t me! Whenever someone enters their territory, the trees of Planet Dank automatically set themselves on fire as a natural defense mechanism!”' “HOW DOES THAT MAKE THE SITUATION ANY BETTER!?”'' ''“The fire is actually the least of your problems right now! Wowie my boy, you really got yourself into a pickle!” Eeznus giggled.' “EH!?” '' '' “It’s blooming season! Which means that the second you stepped foot into this forest, you got covered with pollen from head to toe! And when this pollen gets ignited, boy oh boy does it go boom!”' “OH SH*T!”'' ''“In other words, my boy, you’re basically a walking bomb, ready to go off from the slightest spark! Sure, the explosion won’t kill you since you’re wearing an Asclepper, but do you really want to experience the agony of being blown to smithereens on top of your daily dose of suffering?”'' ''“HELL NO! MASTER EEZNUS, HELP ME! I DON’T WANT TO BLOW UP!”'' ''“Looks like you ain’t got no choice but to put out the forest fire!”'' ''“HOW!?” “Why, with your kicks of course!”'' ''“MY KICKS!?”'' ''“Yep! Now get to work, and remember, even if you mess up and explode, the forest will keep on burning, and the pollen will coat you all over again once you regenerate! So basically you’re gonna keep on exploding until you get it right! Good luck, my boy!”'' ''Leg’s screams echoed for miles and miles, scaring quite a few families of wild Pandons out of their nests. ---- “Your Illeumina Buster is powerful, but it has one glaring weakness!” Leg pointed out with a grin, “Its effectiveness at long range relies on using the strength of your punches to compress air into plasma! That’s why, by synchronizing my kicks with the rhythm of your punches, I swept away the air! Even if it’s just for an instant, your punches landed into pockets of vacuum!” “You…” Brotein gnashed his teeth, clenching his fists so hard that the seams of his gauntlets precariously creaked. “Not only did you figure out that my Illeumina Buster does not work in a vacuum…You developed a special move...All for the sake of exploiting a single weakness!?” “Actually, I was the one who figured it out! Don’t let Leggy take all the credit!” Eeznus shrieked from the top of the salt crystal, throwing a berry at Brotein’s head. Like a spaceship burning up on re-entry, the berry caught fire and dissolved into ashes the second it made contact with the scorching red steam rising off Brotein’s body. Brotein’s fighting spirit has been aroused. “Well well well Legdweeb!” he grinned predatorily, cracking his knuckles, “Looks like you really did get a little bit better! If you pull something cool like that again, I’ll even consider dropping the “Birdon Sh*tpile!” But don’t act so high and mighty just ‘cause you found a way to defeat my Illeumina Buster! THAT WAS ONLY ONE OF MY TWENTY SPECIAL ATTACKS!” “What are you waiting for then!?” Leg responded with a similar expression, “SHOW THEM TO ME! SHOW ME ALL OF YOUR SPECIAL ATTACKS, BROTEIN!” “Boys, please control your faces! They’re gonna get stuck that way!” “NOBODY ASKED YOU, MASTER EEZNUS!” the fighters yelled in unison. Well, almost in unison. Brotein had replaced the “Master Eeznus” with a much less refined “wrinkly f*ckface”. In response, Eeznus tossed an entire cactus at the duo, which Brotein caught in his armored hands and defiantly ate. “You’re one messed up guy.” Leg sighed as his rebellious adversary picked needles out of his teeth. “SHUT THE F*CK UP AND DIE!” Brotein screamed, covering the distance between them in a single bound and sweep-kicking Leg’s legs out from underneath him. The blue Ultra barely had enough time to fall or even let out a yelp before he was grabbed by the ankles and hoisted up into the air. “You wanted to see my special attacks? I’LL SHOW THEM TO YOU ALRIGHT, LEGDWEEB!” and with that, Brotein took flight at full speed. Struggle as Leg may to free his legs, he could not even budge Brotein’s grip as the world whistled by them. They exited the meager atmosphere of Planet Lopata in the blink of an eye, but Leg had less than a second to rejoice in the lack of salt and sand before, with a deafening crash, his world exploded. Everything was too loud, too bright, there was debris flying everywhere, and his head, oh King, his head felt like it was splitting into millions of tiny little shards. But for better or worse, unconsciousness refused to take him, and when the pain finally receded a little, he cracked open an eye and found himself staring into an unfamiliar yellow-green sky. That bastard… Did he really just… PILEDRIVE HIM INTO PLANET LOPATA’S MOON!? “Good job surviving the first half of my Lunar Piledriver, Legdweeb!” Brotein taunted, lifting his stunned opponent out of a sizeable crater that seconds ago used to be the moon’s highest mountain peak. Leg opened his mouth to trashtalk Brotein in an attempt to show him that the attack hadn’t hurt at all, but choked on a sudden rush of lightblood up his throat. “Part Two, coming right up!” and with that, Brotein took off into space again, a suffering Leg in tow. A moment later, they were hurtling towards the surface of Planet Lopata, spinning like a drill, and the first point of impact was surely going to be… Leg’s head. Brotein was going to slam his head into the surface of Planet Lopata. With no way to free himself from Brotein’s grip, and with his head already injured from crashing into the moon, his skull would certainly burst. Dammit, Leg would not let that be the end of him! Thankfully, he had one more ace up his sleeve. “Megalegger!” he yelled, two laser beams erupting out of his eyes and striking Brotein in the face. Crying out in pain, the red Ultra jerked his hands away, releasing Leg and allowing him to take control of his flight at the last moment and make a soft landing onto a reflective salt flat. “You motherf*cker!” Brotein landed a few dozen meters away from him, a tip of his left front horn missing and lightblood streaming down the right side of his forehead. “Lasers from your f*ckin’ eyes!? What kind of stupid attack is that?” “I invented it while crying!” Leg beamed. “THEN WHY DON’T YOU CRY SOME MORE!?” Brotein shouted, launching himself at Leg and kneeing him in the chin. His head jerking backwards and lightblood spewing out of his mouth, the Ultra collapsed, his brain’s control over his body wavering. “COMET CRUSHER!” he heard Brotein yell through the ringing in his ears. Dazed and hurting, Leg had to summon every ounce of willpower he had to force himself to move so he could roll out of the way of an incoming elbow drop. A crevasse opened up behind him, cleaving apart billion-year-old layers of salt deposits and bedrock alike. Thin, runny black magma spurted out like blood from a severed artery, and solidified as quickly as it erupted. Damn, Brotein was as strong as ever. No, even stronger than before. And Leg reveled in the power of his adversary. Every traded blow, every clash of fists and kicks and beams made his heart sing with joy. Finally, all of his efforts were paying off! This time Brotein was not the only one who was strong! He was strong too! His body felt light and nimble, obeying the commands of his will without the slightest delay. Powerful as Brotein’s strikes were, his bones would not break, countless cycles of fracture and regeneration having imbued them with the hardness of Planet Dank’s finest dankite. Fatigue would accumulate in his body, but a few seconds of rest was all it took to take the edge off of it. His power output was consistent, meticulously measured out on a subconscious level. Of all his blows that had connected, none had failed to damage their target. Right now, he felt, Brotein and him were finally evenly matched for real! And the best thing of all? Slowly yet surely, he was getting Brotein to acknowledge his power! Even as he shakily staggered to his feet, Leg was smiling. He wanted this battle to last forever. Brotein, on the other hand, seemed to be hell bent on finishing him off as quickly as possible, attacking with a beastly ferocity, every blow permeated with killing intent. But that was fine. “Rage on, Brotein!” Leg thought as his and Brotein’s kicks collided, the force of the impact striking sparks out of the surface of their skin, “I’ll gladly accept that rage of yours! It only adds more spice to this delicious battle!” The two fighters continued their chaotic dance across the ravaged salt flat, chipping away at each other without respite. More and more luminous droplets mixed into the thin layer of brine that coated the crystalline surface, and it shone ever so brightly in the rays of Planet Lopata’s red giant. ---- Perched on top of an even bigger pillar of salt, reclining under a parasol (or, as he lovingly christened it, Parasalt) to protect himself from the salty winds and stray debris, Eeznus chugged coffee with reckless abandon. Those energetic youngsters have been at it for an entire day…Which translated to around three Planet Dank days. Boy, Eeznus sure was tired. But he had to keep watching. He wanted to witness that magnificent battle to the bitter end. The sun was setting now, and temperature began to steadily drop. The cacti stopped moaning to conserve energy, and night predators crawled out of their tiny sand burrows to feast on the fruit. Slimy and covered in finger-like projections of flesh, they resembled chunks of inverted intestine on long segmented legs. And much like intestines they fed, absorbing the nutrients from the fruit through their villi until the fruit shriveled and dried, its remains fluttering in the sandy winds. “…Why?” Leaning heavily on a salt-dusted slab of rock, Brotein struggled to recover, his shoulders heaving with ragged breaths, his limbs shaking with the effort of keeping himself upright. Lightblood trickled from wounds both big and small, his body having long since given up the fight to heal superficial damage in order to re-route its limited resources to vital organs. A few steps away, Leg kneeled in the sand, in just as bad a condition as his opponent. Skin covered in gashes and bruises, one eye cracked and leaking lightblood, both of his Color Timers had been flashing red for quite a while. “WHY ARE YOU STILL SMILING, YOU DUMBASS!?” “Heheh…” Leg chuckled raspily, forcing himself upright even as the effort sent more lightblood spurting out of his wounds, “Fighting you is fun. That’s pretty much all there is to it.” “F-fun?!” a spiderweb of cracks spread across the surface of the rock slab Brotein was using as support. “Do you think this battle is a game?!” “Eh?” The question had clearly taken Leg by surprise. “Ah, of course it’s nothing but a game to you. You’re not fighting for survival. You have a place to return to. You have people who are willing to protect you. And if the pain of battle becomes too much to bear, you always have the option of stopping.” Leg had hardly any time to react before Brotein’s right hand gripped the top of his head like a vise, pulling him off the ground. “Finishing move: Brain Grasp Claw.” Ever so slowly, the grip on Leg’s head began to tighten. “I am Brotein. The Ultra who will become the strongest warrior in the universe.” Brotein spat, every word laced with bitterness. “I AM NO ONE’S TOY!!!” His field of vision erupted with flashes of sickly blue lightning, and a choked scream bubbled up and died in Leg’s throat as raw agony engulfed him, the bones of his skull beginning to give under the pressure of Brotein’s grip. The pain was like a bog, swallowing him up with relentless voracity, weighing down his limbs and sucking his fighting spirit out of his soul. “Last year I played along and let you live. But this time I’m really gonna kill you, Legdweeb!” Leg’s ears rang with the sound of his own cracking bones. His head, his poor head…After already enduring so much punishment…This was it. His skull must’ve been finally coming apart at the seams. “N-no…” Leg rasped, voice hoarse from screaming, “I don’t wanna…. Die…” “THEN GIVE UP, DAMMIT! USE THAT OPTION YOU’RE SO LUCKY TO HAVE!” “No…I don’t…Want it…To end…Like this…” Leg muttered dazedly, feeling lightblood begin to seep out of right ear. “You really are a dumbass!” Brotein sneered, digging his fingers into Leg’s scalp. But before he had a chance to completely crush his opponent’s head, the blue Ultra let out a choked whimper and went limp. Pikon….pikon….pi…kon….pi…kon…piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii…. The beeps of his Color Timers blurred together into one long, droning tone. It became quieter. And quieter still. Until it was barely discernible at all. “So your energy finally ran out? Tch!” Brotein scoffed, unceremoniously dropping Leg to the ground “I guess I gotta give credit where credit is due. You did have some guts after all. Still, you should’ve at least tried to die a flashier death, Legdweeb!” With a fierce battle-cry, the seemingly dead Ultra sprang back up. “HOT LEG BOFIGHT! BOFABOFABOFABOFABOFABOFABOFABOFABOFA!!!” he screamed, bombarding Brotein with a flurry of flaming kicks, sending him crashing into a salt crystal formation right next to Eeznus’ makeshift lookout. “Hey!” Eeznus griped as his salt pillar rattled from the force of the blow, “I know this move is called “Hot Leg Bofight” and all, but did you really have to copy my battle cry too?” “H-how!?” Brotein rasped as he stumbled to his feet, winded and disoriented. “Your Timers went out! You died! How the f*ck are you standing?” Smoke rising off his legs, Leg panted harshly. His knees gave a threatening wobble, forcing him to lean against a rock to maintain his balance. “Willpower, motherf*cker!” Leg grinned weakly, “It’s true that for a moment I thought I was done for, but then I realized how badly it would suck if I were to die without getting a chance to give you a taste of the new finishing move I busted my ass so hard to perfect! So I willed myself into regaining consciousness!” “You gotta be sh*tting me, Legdweeb!” Brotein exclaimed, ripping out a piece of salt crystal that was lodged in his shoulder. “Hey, am not!” Leg pouted, “Besides, they may be too quiet to hear, but my Timers haven’t gone out just yet.” he raised his left leg, the slightest spark of red flickering deep beneath the Color Timer’s surface. “Look. This guy still has around one or two percent of juice left.” “LEGGY MY BOY, I’M SUING YOUR ASS FOR PLAGIARISM!” an indignant shriek sounded from the salt pillar. “Man, Master Eeznus sure has rubbed off on me in this past year.” Leg sighed. The old man on the salt pillar hurgled threateningly. “To think that someone would be able to endure my Brain Grasp Claw for this long…While running on fumes, to boot…” Brotein muttered in awe. “It’s funny, Brotein…” Leg chuckled, “With my wounds and energy levels, I probably shouldn’t even be conscious right now, but…Each time we trade blows, this strange warmth wells up within me…And somehow, my body can keep on moving…The force of my attacks doesn’t weaken. Instead, little by little, that warmth makes me stronger…” the blue Ultra’s voice cracked, tears glimmering in his eyes “E-even though I should be pretty close to kicking the bucket right now…I don’t remember ever feeling so full of life!” “You…” Brotein gaped at Leg, visibly taken aback, “What kind of f*cked up game are you playing!?” “Enough with the “game” talk, Brotein…” Leg pleaded, voice shaky “This is not a game, and you’re not a toy. As for that cozy past life of mine…The place I could return to…The people that could protect me…I’VE GLADLY THROWN IT ALL AWAY FOR A CHANCE TO FACE YOU!” “I don’t understand…Then what are you fighting so desperately for, Legdweeb?!” Brotein crushed the salt crystal in his fist, letting the fine powder drift away in the wind “Do you simply want to avenge your wounded pride from your previous defeat? Then why did you challenge me in the first place?!” Leg picked at the sand with the sole of his foot, suddenly overcome by a sense of confusion. Thinking was hard, and he was so tired. "To be honest, I don’t fully get it either…It’s just that everything always feels so dull and hollow that it bores me to tears. But whenever I fight a strong opponent, the world seems so much more vibrant and bright…It feels like there is a meaning to my existence, and the existence of all the things around me. That’s why this battle is so precious to me…So, I guess…The best answer I can give is “I fight for the sake of fighting”. “ “A meaning to your existence, huh?” “What about you, Brotein? Why do you want to become the strongest in the world? What are you fighting for?” “To make the universe eat sh*t.” Brotein spat. “Eh?” Leg raised a brow ridge, confused. “That’s all you need to know.” “Oh. Touchy subject, huh? Ok. Got it. Won’t bother you with it.” “Hey, why the hell are you being…Nice to me all of a sudden? We’re in the middle of a battle to the death, dumbass!” “I told you already, I fight for the sake of fighting! I admit that my last defeat did quite a number on my pride, but that’s water under the bridge! I don’t have any beef with you anymore, Brotein!” “WELL I DO!” Brotein roared, decorating the wasteland with a fresh new crater with a stomp of his foot. “Back when you were a Birdon sh*tpile, I only felt contempt for you, but now that you went and toughened the f*ck up, the very fact of your existence MAKES ME SO F*CKING PISSED!!! YOU’RE NO LONGER A PEBBLE UNDER MY FOOT! YOU’RE AN OBSTACLE IN MY PATH TOWARDS BECOMING THE STRONGEST WARRIOR IN THE WORLD!” “Then overcome that obstacle, Brotein!” Leg beamed. “F*CKING WATCH ME!!!” Brotein shouted, and then, in a burst of speed, disappeared from view. Leg’s instincts kicked in before he had the chance to be surprised, commanding his body to duck. A hook punch that would’ve otherwise had a fair chance of shattering his compromised skull swooshed harmlessly by, only scraping the top of his head crest instead of smashing into his temple. Springing back up, Leg aimed a kick at his opponent’s exposed back, only to be caught off guard with a spinning back fist to the face. He reeled back, the crack in his damaged eye widening, and Brotein, not wasting a single millisecond, stepped in and sent him flying into the stratosphere with an uppercut. Planet Lopata…Master Eeznus was right all along, what a beautiful place indeed! So Leg thought as he hurtled through the air, this brief moment of freefall granting him a bird’s eye view of the glimmering salt flats that reflected the bottomless night sky, dotted with stars and bathed in the entrancing emerald glow of moonlight. A strange calmness had washed over him. The sting of salt in his wounds, the burn of fatigue in his muscles, the sickening throb of his damaged head had given way to an almost pleasant numbness. The implications of his condition did not worry him in the slightest. For the first time in millennia, Leg felt at peace. Content. Satisfied. Complete. Brotein… Thank you. Even though I can’t quite put it into words…This battle has given me something extremely important. Something that I have longed for ever since I became aware of the world around me. Something that can’t quite be summed up as “alleviating the dullness of my existence”. Come to think of it, now I’m not sure if I’m only fighting for the sake of fighting, either. The thing that I desired… It’s right on the tip of my tongue. How frustrating… So instead… With this one final attack… Those feelings of mine…I’ll smash them directly into your heart, Brotein! An aurora borealis exploded in the night sky, its luminous tongues twirling in a chaotic dance around Leg’s silhouette. Bathed in plumes of brilliant cerulean light, the Ultra was almost ethereal in appearance. The mighty Parasalt doing little to protect his eyes from the brightness of the aurora, Eeznus leapt to his feet and stared at the sky, his jaw dropping with astonishment. “Here it comes…” He muttered, entranced by the beauty of the sight before him. The glow of the aurora illuminating his gently smiling face, Leg thrust his right leg forward. As though drawn by the pull of a magnet, the dancing tongues of light streamed towards the bottom of his foot, melding together into a single radiant sphere. “Leggy my boy…” tears pooled in Eeznus’ eyes, streaming down his cheeks in sparkling trails. “All of the suffering you’ve been through in the past year…IT’S PAID OFF! IT’S PAID OFF TO THE FULLEST! I’M SO PROUD!” Spinning around its axis, the ball of light began to compress. Smaller and smaller it shrank, until nothing remained but a tiny dot. And then, exploding outwards and spraying jets of brilliant sparkles in all directions, the little dot of light…became a star. A puny blue star, smaller than the ball of Leg’s foot, lit up to its full brightness, the Ultra’s body glimmering in its fresh, innocent shine. “Brotein...” the sheer happiness in Leg’s voice made Eeznus’ heart flutter in his chest. He was so, so glad for his student. “This star was born from the light of my emotions…The light of my soul…Please accept it!” Pumping his fist into the air, Eeznus yelled out at the top of his lungs: “DO YOUR BEST, MY BOY!!!” As Leg swooped down from the skies with a flying kick, carrying the baby star on the sole of his foot, every single nerve, every single bit of self-preservation instinct in Brotein’s body screamed at him to dodge, screamed at him to move out of the way. But was it fatigue that bound him to the spot with its invisible shackles? Was the damage of Leg’s attacks chipping away at his body for hours on end finally catching up to him? Or was it…Fear? Truth be told, it was a little bit of everything… “''This is my''…” he heard Leg utter, and felt a shiver run down his spine. F*ck. F*CK F*CK F*CK F*CK F*CK!!! But try as he may to evade the attack, Brotein only managed to slightly jerk to the side, barely getting his Color Timer out of Leg’s path. “HOT HOT LEG!!!!” Leg’s star-powered kick slammed into Brotein’s right side, and both of them disappeared in an explosion of blinding blue light. The explosion grew and grew, hungrily devouring the salt flats of Planet Lopata. Eeznus’ pillar of salt toppled, and he shrieked and teleported into the stratosphere, escaping from being swept up by the blast by a hair’s breadth. Hundreds of miles away, the three maws of Brebs gnashed their dental plating and howled, the motorcycle’s power core burning with the agony of its rider. As the explosion finally died down and the smoke cleared, Eeznus descended from the stratosphere, only to recoil at the horrifying sight that had been revealed. “My boy… I’m sorry, my boy…Because of that bastard Aqool, Hot Hot Leg was completed in a hurry…It looks like your body still wasn’t ready…I shouldn’t have allowed you to use it. OH NO, WHAT HAVE I DONE!?” ---- As he lay at the bottom of a crater that took up almost the entire surface of the salt flat, staring into the sky, Leg wondered if it was snowing. Illuminated by the green moonlight, fluffy white flakes slowly drifted down, swirling in the wind. Only when a few of them came to rest on his face did he determine those flakes to be ash. Why was Master Eeznus yelling? Why was he so worried? He won the battle, didn’t he? …Didn’t he? A few steps away from him, a ray of moonlight illuminated Brotein’s unmoving body, resting limply against the wall of the crater. The play of light and shadow almost made it look as though time and elements had carved a majestic statue into the rock of Planet Lopata. Covered in dust and rubble. Glistening with spilled lightblood. His right side gruesomely dented inwards, as though flesh and bone had collapsed into themselves. “I won…” Leg whispered, but noticed no change in his emotions. He was still on the same level of “content” and “happy” as he used to be before using Hot Hot Leg. Did he not care about winning whatsoever? But hey, whatever. Though his body remained just as pleasantly numb as before, Leg struggled to keep his eyes open. Perhaps he was just too sleepy to care. But now he could rest. He could rest all he wanted. Clack! Leg’s eyes shot open, fear shooting through him. Where did that noise come from!? “The kind of pain and sadness that dwells inside your heart…I may never comprehend the full extent of it…” Brotein’s hand had just…Curled into a fist… “Still, I hope what I have to say consoles you, even if it’s just a tiny bit.” No way! This wasn’t happening! Could this be that even a Hot Hot Leg…A kick that could create a new star… Wasn’t enough? “The stars that only get to shine for a short while…Are usually the largest and shiniest ones…” His head lolling back, Brotein jerked as though electrocuted, before suddenly being racked by a fit of hacking coughs. A cloud of fine white powder spewed out of his mouth, followed by a thin stream of lightblood. “And just as their lives are about to burn out…These stars become magnificent supernovae.” A trembling hand slammed against the wall of the crater, fingers digging grooves into the rock in a desperate attempt to secure a stable handhold. Inch by agonizing inch, the dark-timered warrior was clawing his way up the rock wall, slowly pulling his broken body to its feet. “A supernova, they say, can outshine galaxies!” One shaky step. Then another. A near fall. And another step. “Who says you can’t become a supernova that outshines the world, Brotein?” Leg could only stare on in horror as step by shambling step, his opponent approached the spot where he lay. Head hanging low, posture stooping, fingers clawing at the air as though trying to grasp onto something. Sh*t. This was giving him the creeps. Was Brotein conscious?! Hell, was he even alive?! “D-don’t come any closer!” Leg stammered, willing himself to scramble away from the approaching Ultra. His body felt…Weird. Too light. Unbalanced. His legs felt uneven, as though they were different lengths. Wait! His legs! Glancing down, Leg recoiled in shock. His leg, the one that had delivered the decisive blow, was missing from the knee down. The only thing that was spared was a weakly blinking Color Timer attached to the knee joint. The wound wasn’t bleeding in the slightest, cauterized shut by the heat of his own attack. His leg hadn’t torn off…It had evaporated away! “GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!” “Legdweeb…Shut the f*ck up…I swear…You could wake the dead…” Brotein whispered hoarsely, his eyes lighting up to their full fiery brightness. “Dude, I just lost a leg!” Leg scowled. Still, the sound of Brotein’s voice instilled relief in him. Strangely, he felt the safest he’d felt in a while. “I’m a supernova…A supernova that will shine brighter than all stars of the universe combined…” Brotein rasped, his shoulders heaving as each labored breath whistled morbidly inside his chest “I refuse to be outshined…By a tiny dwarf star like you…” His face contorted in pain, and he doubled over in yet another violent coughing fit. With each cough, puffs of that strange white powder escaped his throat. “Boy oh boy…” Eeznus sighed, sitting on the edge of the crater and wiggling his legs. “I’ve dealt and received many nasty injuries back in the day, but this is the first time I’m seeing someone horking up their own powdered ribcage.” “This battle…Isn’t over yet, is it?” Leg managed a weak smile. “Not over…Never over…” Stopping a few steps short of where Leg lay, Brotein forced his body into a painfully familiar stance. “With one leg missing, you can’t use Leg Quixote anymore, can you?” “Wait, you mean…This is the maximum range of your super-cool Illeumina Buster right now? A couple of steps?!” Brotein nodded, taking a while to recover the strength to speak. “Don’t count me out just yet!” Leg grinned, crossing his one good leg over the stump, “Even though I can barely move, I still have one Leg Laser left in me…And as long as one of my legs is still attached, I can fire it!” “Heh, we’re a mess!” Brotein chuckled bitterly. “Sure are!” Leg replied with a sad smile. “To think that this battle would come to one last shot…” Covered in wounds, shaking with exhaustion, the two warriors took aim at each other for one final time. Though they, trapped inside the crater as they were, could not see it, the sun was beginning to rise on the horizon. “Legdweeb…” “Huh? What is it, Brotein?” “You’re alright.” “Eh?” “Gotta hand it to ya. You’ve become a badass. Almost…''cough''…as strong as me. Good job.” “EH!?” “Why are you tearing up all of a sudden, dweebanoid?! How the hell are you…''cough''…supposed to aim at me with your face full of tears?” “…Thank you!” “Huh?!” “This battle was amazing…No matter how it ends, I’ll still be happy!” “You really are a weird one.” “Same goes for you, Brotein!” “Heh. Is that a…''cough''…compliment?” “Edgelord.” “Dweeblord.” “Are we gonna finish this or not, dammit?” Leg pouted. “Of course.” Brotein grinned…And suddenly collapsed, pierced through the chest by a gangly metallic appendage. Next episode preview: ...Svo...svo...svo...svo...svo.... Category:Ultraman Leg continuity Category:Ultraman Leg episodes Category:Fan Series Category:Fan Episodes Category:TheMoonShard